Hout Bay Coffee has the most amazing selection of coffees from around the world and an intimate setting in an old Hout Bay building next to the river. They also have a handpicked selection of honeys, jams, cakes, croissants etc
Hout Bay harbour has long been a favourite destination for tourists from the East. Every weekday six large tour buses arrive in the harbour and disgorge gaggles of Oriental tourists who eagerly pose for selfies with Pauley the Obese Seal and his profane master who will swear at them and say unpleasant things about their mothers. The shopkeepers and markets jostle with each other to sell the tourists curios (more often than not- hand-crafted back home in China.)
The advisory issued by the Chinese minister of Tourism and Colonisation Mr Li Rafo Pol cautioned that air pollution levels in the once pristine Hout Bay harbour had gotten worse than the levels ever recorded in Beijing and advised travellers to arm themselves with Level 1 respiration masks.
Local fisherman Solly Baaitjes when asked for comment replied " I don't know what these bladdy dom guys are talking about- I have lived here my whole life and I can't smell anything. No really- I have no sense of smell at all!"
The Zimbabwean traders have all swapped their beaded Christmas trees and are now doing a roaring trade in selling masks and have also gone into mass production with a cheaper version of the respirators.
Entrepreneur, Blessed Shitole has come up with an anti pollution device to calm the angry Hout Bay middle class, aptly named the Putrid Emission Guardian (P.E.G for short) The P.E.G's come in either wood or plastic. The P.E.G's will be available for the first time today at popular harbour takeaway the Laos Flop Dairy and will be available at heavily discounted prices before noon today. Click here to reserve your order.